UPDATE – Tuesday, June 30 –
Summer's finally here again, and I don't plan on wasting it like I did last summer. There's too much I want to do to let this time go to waste. To start, I need to catch up on DeviantART.... So you may see me faving old deviations or commenting on old journals and such. So far, I narrowed down 700 deviations to check to 400. I'm making progress. But I haven't touched the journals yet...I have nearly 900 journals to read.. >_>

But I plan on making progress on everything else, in my personal life. I finally started practicing drawing again, and started working on my site. I really hope on getting back into graphic design.... But I piled up hundreds of resources, like brushes, that I have to try, so... It's making me procrastinate because there is so much related... Beyond that, I plan on learning Flash, as well as After Effects, and Illustrator. Maybe even In Design... Bah, whatever. I have a lot to do. And then i still have to clean out my computer, listen to all my podcasts, and even read all my ebooks. So much to do!!

In terms of my site.... There will be many changes going on constantly. Design-wise, and content-wise... I will be creating video tutorials, both for beginners and just tips and techniques, and I will have a blog, and a portfolio on my site. This will take a while, yet I don't know where to start.....

In terms of how I'm feeling: I'm feeling much better, actually. No longer depressed, but still need work in terms of my self-confidence. Trying to make progress in my life, though. Yet some people are holding me back...

On a separate note, I have a Twitter account that I am quite active on. Follow me on Twitter!! [link]

I also saw Transformers 2 in theater. What a great movie!!! not as great as the first, but still amazing. The special effects are spectacular, and I like all the little bits of humor throughout the movie. Also all of the mini-transformers. All of them have such a personality! But the movie was just epic. Great job yet again, Michael Bay!!

Until next time,
Koolstr


UPDATE – Wednesday, April 1 –
When it comes to me and time... apparently we don't go well together. Time has stressed me to the max, not even including homework, tests, and papers.... So due to the lack of free time, I ahven't been able to try out all my new things and tools and experiment my creativity.... But I still have hope that I will have the time.

...But unluckily enough, that won't be soon. I am taking a three-and-a-half week-long holiday with my family... Since I have a desktop and not a laptop, I won't have my computer with all my programs and utilities....SO I definitely won't be able to get back into graphic design. But hopefully when I come back, I will.

However, this break in time is a big relaxation I needed, considering what has been going on in my life, both personally and in school. I am stressed, tired, aggravated, and annoyed, and this holiday is exactly what I need to loosen up and get in the mood to pursue my dreams.
During this holiday, I plan on improving/practicing drawing, and catch up on my reading. And I plan on finishing up a lot of ideas for Project Rendan. But of course, more time is taken out from this break because of family events, and school assignments that my teachers have handed to me to finish by the end of the holiday.

I no longer feel depressed; actually just the opposite. I'm starting to feel optimistic. Hopeful, happy, inspired... This may help with my creativity, once I test it out when I get back into graphic design....

Recently, I've been getting organized; putting everything down on my computer into a flexible, dynamic to-do list app called The Hit List, and scheduling/planning out my days so that I don't end up wasting my time. So far it seems to help, both for school (assignments/homework), and I plan on using this to make room in my daily life/schedule for getting back into graphic design. Being organized feels really good lol. ^^

So that's it, I probably won't be on DA for the duration of my holiday, but I may be able to visit from time to time. Thanks so much for all of your support and nice comments everybody. I love this place, and can't wait to get back, and hopefully soon enough, getting back into graphic design.

Until next time,
Koolstr


UPDATE – SUNDAY, FEB 8 –
It seems I am getting my creativity back at a rapid rate. I have been able to complete something that I have been working on for a long time, but couldn't complete because of a creativity block, and I am capable of writing well again. It feels amazing, and I am hoping this is the means to me returning to my former self, with all of my talents, creativity, purpose, desire, and love.
I am also becoming more organized, and it is really helpful for everything. Keeping track of what I need to, deleting and getting rid of what I don't need, and organizing everything makes everything else so much easier. Also opens some time gaps for other things i normally don't have time for.
I will begin posting deviations again, but it may be hard due to time. Hope to see you around.
Koolstr

JAN 27
To begin, I am canceling the Steady 70 photography project for a while. I am concentrating on school instead, and so far, it has paid off. I have aced almost every one of my finals and got near-perfect midterm grades on all of my classes. And I feel that is way more important than what else I would be doing. So unless I am completely and utterly bored and unoccupied, I won't be continuing the Steady 70 Project, at least for a long while.

Also, if you've noticed my inactivity for the past week or two, its because I've been on a cruise to the Bahamas, and internet access was scarce.

Also, when I took off (on the cruise) during Winter Break, I used the time off to think about myself, and fix my mental state. (Of course, I also caught up on sleep.) So far, I feel I am progressing, and with that, my creativity may return. So, maybe, one day, hopefully soon enough, you may see me posting here again with my first deviation in months...

I can't wait for that time to come. But in the meantime, I must concentrate on school and improving my severely depressed mental state, which is causing a block in all of my talents and things I used to enjoy. But it seems to be coming back slowly....

Project Rendan......I don't know what to do with this....I finally started working on the details, such as names and concept designs and logos and such, but there are still some parts I am stuck on... Although, I have a few people helping me on it. Without any of my creativity and talents and enjoyment in doing such things (because of my Depression), it is hard for me to do such things as character concept designs and such. But, as time passes, it will eventually and hopefully be finished. Even though it's already been 4-5 years that I've been working on it...
Also, in midst of developing the story, I have decided to split Project Rendan into a 2-part series. Its a continuous storyline, but there will just be a break, both for me and maybe even the story.


Also, soon I may be entering journals with recommendations with both deviants and deviations. And I will finally answer my taggings. XD

So, in the midst of my mental improvement, which so far I am proud of, I may be coming back. But still, don't expect anything from me for a while. I am also not feeling as depressed anymore, which is a start, I guess. I have the support of my family, friends, and resources, in addition to inspiration, and so far these have kept me going. I will only need more and more treatment until I return to my regular state, which none of you have seen, since its been 2 years that I've been Severely Depressed.
Sorry if I sounded repetitive through this whole journal entry. I just wanted to get the point clear. ^^

See you soon,
Koolstr